- by Sophie Pinkoski

Conflict within the workplace is inevitable, especially when you put a group of highly skilled individuals passionate about what they do in a room together. Personality clashes can make for unnecessary tension amongst your team. The resulting conflict can stem from a variety of places, including differences in opinion, discrimination, and opposing goals and values.

If managed well, interpersonal clashes don’t have to be a disruption, but a positive leadership opportunity.

Take executive discussions, for instance, where diversity of thought is encouraged to promote better decision making through healthy debate, creative problem solving, and open communication. This encourages everyone to appreciate one another’s perspectives outside their own. When conflict isn’t anticipated and resolved in a constructive way, however, it can lead to miscommunication and grind productivity to a halt. Sitting down with both conflicting parties to create a carefully thought out conflict resolution that will keep everyone happy can actually be a teaching opportunity on what healthy conflict can look like.

According to a DDI survey, only 12% of leaders feel proficient in conflict management, and thus don’t come by conflict resolution naturally. SHRM claims that 60 to 65% of leaders struggle offering support or resources during a conflict, identifying root causes, and involving the conflicting parties in the resolution process. Fortunately, if you’re looking to develop your conflict resolution skills, there is a practical model to help you out. Created in 1974 following a study of conflict resolution patterns on the workplace, the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Model identifies five primary approaches to conflict resolution, influenced by each individual’s level of assertiveness and cooperation. They found the most common approaches people use to resolve conflict are avoidance, accommodation, collaboration, compromise, and competition.

There is no one way to handle a conflict; it’s up to you to assess the situation to determine the approach each party will respond to best.

Avoidance, the most passive of these options, lets the conflict play itself out naturally without interference. It may give the conflicting parties the independence to resolve their own issues but can signal your reluctance to step in to keep the peace among your team.

Accommodation concedes to a certain party to maintain harmony. This can de-escalate the situation temporarily but may not permanently solve the problem in the long run. Similar to accommodation, compromise finds a middle ground that works for both parties. This can be helpful when either party is unwilling to concede, but it can feel like only a partial win (or a partial loss) for everyone involved.

Collaboration is where everyone works together to find an ideal resolution that will satisfy everyone.

Finally, competition is where the parties refuse to stand down when protecting their values or point of view. They will do what they need to to get their way, regardless of others’ perspectives, or if they are in the wrong. This can be good to apply to emergency situations that require a firm hand, but can be alienating if overused.

It’s easy to see that each approach comes with their own pros and cons, so it requires identifying which is best for every stage of the conflict resolution process. It remains up to the leader to be the impartial party in the conflict resolution process, thus you’re not assigning blame or judging anyone involved.

Here is a step-by-step guide to approaching conflict in a respectful, sensitive way:

Define the problem–– When conflict arises amongst your team, it’s never just about a surface level disagreement. It’s up to you to get each party to open up about the facts and their concerns, needs, and expectations for how to solve the problem. This is your time to just listen to understand their perspective. Don’t make assumptions, pick sides, or rush to conclusions. This is time to find the root cause of the conflict. It may feel natural to avoid the situation entirely to let your team members sort things out on their own, but stepping up before it can escalate showcases good leadership, and makes both parties feel heard.

Brainstorm potential solutions together–– This is a very collaborative step in the conflict resolution process. Don’t overthink or second guess your ideas– there is no wrong answer at this stage. Encourage everyone involved to bring multiple solutions to the table. This use of multiple voices helps narrow down the most ideal win-win solution to engage everyone in the outcome.

Evaluate your options–– Now is the time to collect all the solutions you brainstormed and assess what would work best for everyone. A SWOT analysis or pro/con list can be a useful tool at this stage in organizing your thoughts. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each option, and especially consider the potential consequences attached. Rank the feasibility, effectiveness and emotional impact of all solutions. Can it be realistically implemented with the resources at hand? Will it strengthen interpersonal relationships within your team in a timely and efficient way? If you’ve explored all options and your parties are still unhappy, it may require shifting from a collaborative approach to one of compromise. Stubborn individuals unwilling to concede may be too competitive to come to a fully satisfying resolution for everyone.

Implement your chosen solution–– Once you’ve come to an agreement on a solution, you can finally put it into action. In order for this step to succeed, it should be put into place right away. Put together a clear timeline of what is expected of everyone involved before the conflict can fester any further. This requires open communication so everyone understands their role in resolving the conflict. Make sure they are committed to the agreed upon solution. Accommodate them if they need further support and check in regularly to ensure the solution has been successful. If the problem still persists, you may need to experiment a little to find a practical option that sticks.

Review the outcome–– The conflict resolution process doesn’t end with implementing your solution. Follow up is necessary to measure how effective the solution has been. Give all parties involved closure on the conflict by celebrating their progress and growth. Has the conflict been officially resolved? Has it improved trust amongst your team? Most importantly, what can you and your team learn from this experience? The success of your process can be applied to future situations, strengthening your organization’s resilience overall. This is a great opportunity to reinforce your team’s culture by empowering autonomous conflict resolution, normalizing healthy conflict, and being a resource and support to your team as their leader.

While conflict resolution may not come naturally, it should be a key skill in your competency toolbox. A great leader faces team conflict with empathy for everyone involved. They listen to understand and to eventually achieve the most effective solution. Make space for everyone to feel seen. By doing so, you can cultivate a supportive, open-minded, harmonious culture to empower your team.

Further Reading

What is the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Management Model? MTD Training

Managing Conflict Across Varying Organizational Levels, Forbes

14 Ways Executives Can Approach Conflict Resolution In The Workplace, Forbes

5 Strategies For More Civility And Less Conflict At Work, Forbes

Preventing and Managing Team Conflict, Professional DCE

How do you use the 5-step problem solving model in conflict resolution?, LinkedIn